Thursday, November 19
Labels: randomcant believe wat happened to me ytd..was suppose to meet proggers for dinner at flyer's popeye..when im at home gettin ready ah chor sdnly call n ask if wan go back gy see np annual camp how le..when i haven decide whether to go meet proggers for dinner or go back np see how they are doin or even btr both dun go juz stay at home slack..sdnly it rained outside..so i thot btr to not travel so far to flyer..n ive got nothing btr to do at home anw..so i decided to go check out my 1st n onli batch of cadets:)so there i am..went back to gyss ytd to hav a look at their np annual camp..waa they totally cui sia..i wonder how did they ever handle e unit for e past 7mths as an NCO??took their own sweet time walkin about..ankle sock unzipped pants untucked shirts..talkin in mother tongue lik nobody's business..not onli did i see tis attitudes in the campers..even majority of e NCOs did tat too..wats e point when u wan to come up wif a trainin camp yet u urself are not ready-.-e time was not in their control..when i look at their proposal i nearly exploded..e camp coords asked me for e proposal format 3days b4 e camp..juz as i expected..all proposals are done by both of them althou they all not e conductin personnels..n watever they wrote are not exactly right too..oh well im alr in no position to scold them alr..if not there will be so much more issues comin up!anw their 'campfire' was totally cmi de..e proposal actually wrote 'a bunch of torchlights stacked tgt to stimulate a fire effect'..yet they didnt even prepare torchlights..n when e campfire i/c asked e other NCOs if they could pass their torchlights to help..they actually said lazy to walk back to their bunks and sat down n slack..zzz..i cant believe my ears tat their reply was so highly irritatable..when i finally help them do up e 'fire'..then i realise smth..e emcees for e nite are in fact 2 NCOs..n 1 was unwilling to come up..needin another person to take over his place..e whole sequence of e campfire was horrible..even e song leaders are e NCOs..hello u guys are suppose to be loud in e first place okay!!? both e emcees n song leaders shld be from e campers..if i had read e proposal beforehand n if i had e authority..i would hav cancelled tis stupid arrangement rather e night confidence walk..afterall tat was one of e main pt n could realli hype them up..but oh well wats done cant be undone..before we left for e nite..we kinda had a long talk wif part of e grp..i wouldnt call it scoldin since we are not in e position to do so..but we kinda pointed out their mistakes n stuffs..they looked realli tired n sianzz..but who was e cause of it..they treat it as thou we were lookin for trouble..lik yea we were lookin for trouble..of ourselves..we had tests n exams n schs e next day..yet where were we all at?? beside them givin them e advices they needed..thou i admit we sounded quite harsh..but at least i felt e need to do so..althou im pretty sure they didnt realli absorbed wat we said..
time flies by realli fast..i met tis batch of NCOs when i first became an NCO in sec3..they were e my first batch of cadets i took as a fresh NCO..n i realli did my best to pass on my knowledge to them..im super sure none of them in tat squad has nv curse me behind my back before since i was always playin e devil while e other guys are always e angels..but our aim in e end are all e same..which is hopin they did learn some things off us and will continue impartin their knowledge to their juniors in e future..n now is e time when they come to e age when i first met them..they are all now sec3s goin on sec4s..n im alr a poly student..yet when i saw them once agn..they were juz totally cui n cmi..at e end of e 'speech' we had for them n were about to leave..i turned ard n look at tat squad..they use to be my juniors..althout they wasnt e best..but they were my squad..n i was realli proud of them at tat time..why did they turn out lik tat?? at tat moment was i wanted to leave..i realli felt tat its not them who are e failures tat cant handle their juniors now..its me who e falure tat couldnt instill e right values in their hearts at tat time:(
lookin at them tis way gav me mixed feelings now..i rmb e days when i was over active in np tat i neglected my studies n relationships wif family n friends..n i told myself i nv wanted to be involved in it anymore..yet when i left sec sch i thot of goin back..but i couldnt cuz i gav up tat chance..n now lookin at them in tis way..im realli considerin shld i go back..juz feel lik e whole thing is a contradiction..i dun wana go back n see such a horrible situation..yet i wana go back n try do smth to improve e unit..even if help if very minimal..but at least im wif them..we can always suffer tgt..haiz..althou i doubt i will ever hav e chance anymore... ...
